Sunday, May 14, 2017

Salute Me Not

I hate group text messages.  Don't get me wrong, I think they have their purpose.  It's helpful to send both of my parents the obligatory Easter pics or when I have a question for both my sister-in-laws (or is it sisters-in-law, whatever).  However, receiving a barrage of holiday wishes via a group text, is annoying. People that I don't know, constantly replying, because they don't know how to just respond to the sender, is annoying.  My phone pinged at least 20 times this morning,with cutesy Mother's Day wishes, all before I was even awake...annoying. It's amazing how leading up to Mother's Day, Facebook is full of memes espousing the perfect gift as sleeping in, yet on the actual day, a bunch of mothers didn't think that the people on the receiving end, may in fact, be sleeping in.  Some people say, "It's the thought that counts."  The older I get, the more I feel like that saying is an excuse for not really thinking.  You can't find a gift that you know they'll like, "It's the thought that counts."  You forgot that it was Teacher Appreciation Week and sent the last gift you received, but didn't want, "It's the thought that counts."  You created a group with every mother in your phone to send well wishes, "It's the thought that counts."

I call bullshit.  (And I'm including myself in this too, since I'm not perfect)

If you were really thinking, you would be more intentional in your gift giving.  By intentional, I mean, plan it out, in advance, to ensure they love it.  To show that you actually know the recipient.  For instance, don't buy me a subscription to Omaha Steaks when I don't eat meat.  If you were really thoughtful, you would pick up the phone and call all of these mothers or send a card.  But technology, lets us cheat.  There's no way in hell that you would call most of the people these messages go to.  Because frankly, we generally only call our immediate family members.  When you receive group messages from people who only reach out on holidays, it cheapens it.  And if you really thought, you would realize that not everyone is up at 8 in the morning on a day when they have no obligations.  You would realize that I have Fibromyalgia and sleep is a precious thing.  You would realize that my husband doesn't sleep that well either in the aftermath of being shot 18 months ago. Maybe I stayed up late watching movies because I knew I could sleep in.  My kids didn't wake me up this morning, so why should you.

Now some may say I'm cynical and unappreciative.  Some may say that I'm a bitch.  And it could all be true.  Or maybe, I'm just tired as fuck because you woke me up.  Miss me with your early morning salutations.  Catch me at noon, when you can be sure I've had something to eat and a chance to put on my happy face.

The Chaos is Real,
The Lipgloss Junkie

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